


Only

by Cephy



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: Gen, Songfic, Weirdness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-08-06
Updated: 2005-08-06
Packaged: 2017-10-07 01:40:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cephy/pseuds/Cephy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ed.  The Gate.  Oddness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Only

**Author's Note:**

> A songfic done to Nine Inch Nails' "Only".
> 
> _Now I am somehwere I am not supposed to be  
> And I can see things I know I really shouldn't see..._

Ed stood still, not really wanting to move his feet-- everything was white, with no edges and no boundaries, and somehow he felt that there wouldn't be anything underneath him if he took a step. Like if he tried to leave this one spot of solidity, he'd lose his balance and fall into the endless whiteness and never find the way up again. He kept his chin up, half-convinced that if he looked down, he wouldn't even be able to see himself.

Still, it was interesting, and he couldn't help but wonder-- though at the same time, he had to frown, feeling very much like he'd forgotten something important.

He craned his neck around, looking to the side and behind, but wasn't terribly surprised to see only more white. In fact, he realized, he wasn't terribly surprised about any of it-- nor curious, nor angry, though he felt like he perhaps should be.

His frown deepened. There was something not right, but he couldn't figure it out. Something that should have been here and wasn't, something that--

His breath froze in his throat.

_Al._

And then he moved, not stopping to think that he shouldn't. He turned in frantic circles, eyes searching. "Al!" he called, voice echoing in ways that shouldn't have been possible. "_Alphonse_!"

His voice went hoarse before he stopped, panting, feeling as though he'd been running-- impossible to tell, since everything looked the same.

_He's got to be here. He **has** to be. Somewhere--_

_Doesn't he?_

Ed shook his head violently as his thoughts tried to slide away from him again-- he could feel them drifting, feel the blank accepting whiteness starting to seep into his mind. He shoved it away angrily, calling up an image of his brother as a reminder of why he was there in the first place.

And panicked, briefly, as the image wouldn't come.

_He's real. He's real, and he's here, and I just have to find him--_

Memory taunted him-- _"Aren't you trying to say that my soul, my memories, are only things you made up? That Alphonse Elric never existed in this world at all?"_

_No. No, no, no--_

He turned, and turned, looking and calling again, _willing_ with everything he had in him for the whiteness to break--

And there, in the far distance, a dark speck that _might_ have been something. Ed broke into a run, despite the feeling of unease in his gut. He ran-- until his breath was acid in his chest and his legs gave out, dumping him to the ground, yet the something never got any closer.

He closed his eyes, pressing his hands into the nonexistant ground.

_Please._

He opened his eyes to darkness.

Before him loomed the Gate, open, spilling shadows and shapeless forms out like water through a sieve. Bodiless eyes stared him down, mouthless voices drifted by in a teasing whisper. And beyond it all, maybe-- just maybe there was a figure he recognized.

"Al!"

The Gate started to close. Ed leapt foward, catching the edge and dragging himself through.

And stopped, as the Gate's tiny hands reached into his mind and set it afire.

Images flashed by, a thousand pictures overlaid--

_Too much, too much--_

And suddenly everything was so very clear.

_But it **hurts**, make it stop_\--

He shook, or maybe the world shook around him, as it felt like his soul tried to rip free of his body.

_Al, where are you?_

Ahead, just out of reach-- that shape again.

_Al, **wait**\--_

He pushed ahead, seared from the inside out. And it was awful _wonderful_ terrible enough to make him scream.


End file.
